Letters from Vietnam

Last weekend my daughter Madison and I were sorting through mounds of pictures I have of my family. My two older children will be graduating next May, and we needed pictures for their yearbook. As I pulled down one of the many boxes from my bedroom closet, I noticed a stack of letters I didn't recognize, held in a quart-sized ziploc bag. There must have been about 50 or so. Glancing at the address and postmarked date on the front of the first letter, I realized that these were letters my grandmother had received from my father while he was on his first and second tours in Vietnam with the Army.

I have no idea how I have these letters. I don't remember my grandmother giving them to me before she died, and I've never read them before. I don't have hardly anything from my dad. He passed away when I was 16 years old. Needless to say, I held the stack of treasures to my heart and absolutely wept.

This morning I spent the first two hours sitting in bed reading slowly through every word he wrote. There are things in these letters I never knew about my dad...like he planned to be a Minister of Music one day. He loved taking pictures, and would send my grandmother slides of all the places he would go. How I wish I had those slides! And at one point, he was finally forced to engage the enemy. He must have received a medal for this experience, and these were his thoughts on the matter:

"Mom, about the medals and all that riff-raff. For my own part, I don't want any. All they are good for is to wear on your dress uniform and have some yo-yo come up and ask what they are and how you got them. I know what I have done and I hope someday to forget. I'm sure not proud of what is done in order to get a piece of tin for your chest. Most people at home don't understand what war is all about. They don't know how it is to be made into a human "god" with power over life and death. Or to sometimes see a helicopter with friends of yours start taking rounds and finally to go down in an inaccessible place and finally to know that there's nothing in your power to help them - except pray. No, Mom, I'm not a hero because I have a heart and a conscience. Heroes have only ice-water where blood should be."

There are stories he held in his heart that tormented him severely when he would sleep at night. But again and again he would say that it was worth it. He was protecting his family back home...protecting the freedoms we enjoy and often take for granted. We owe them so much.

Today our country is celebrating Veteran's Day. I can't tell you how proud I am of the men in my family who have served this fine country, and the women who have faithfully stood behind them. When I look at our flag, it is a constant reminder of the blood, sweat and tears our men and women of the armed forces have committed to seeing her continue to fly for the next generation.

Please join me in honoring our veterans today...and every day.

Broken, or Covered?

Recently, my husband and I were left without kids on a beautiful Saturday morning, so we took full advantage of the situation and went out for a breakfast date. (With three kids, you have to steal time when you can.) After looking over the menu, we placed our order and began to catch up on life. With a cup of hot coffee in my hands, I settled into the conversation and relished each interruption-free moment with my man. But God had a different plan on His agenda that morning, as He often does.

I had a direct view of the kitchen from where I was sitting, and the waiters and waitresses were constantly going back and forth to place or retrieve customer orders. It's pretty fast-paced. One waitress didn't quite make it fully out the door of the kitchen when she lost her footing and fell - several orders on her tray falling along with her. Plates crashed to the ground and shattered. Quickly getting up from the floor, she ran back into the kitchen. Immediately, four other waitresses grabbed dust pans and brooms and began to clean up the mess. I don't think I've ever seen a team move so fast.

They covered for her.

This poor waitress was probably completely humiliated, shaken, and probably beat herself up for not being more careful. She knew orders had to be prepared again, and her customers would probably be upset. We later found out that she was being taken to the doctor to have stitches for a large gash to her hand. She'd had a rough day already, and it wasn't even 9:30 in the morning!

As I sat there watching the clean-up process it occurred to me that I was watching love in action. Actually, the phrase that jumped to my heart was "love covers".

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sin." 1 Peter 4:8

Love covers!

It's a simple concept really. When those around us miss the mark, we cover them. We extend grace and mercy to them. We restore them. Sometimes we as the Body of Christ forget that's our mission. We are to co-labor with Christ to restore the people He loves back to His heart. Not through condemnation, but through love and a demonstration of God's goodness. We quickly clean up after one another, and if we need a doctor, or stitches, we drive them to the hospital. We don't kick them while they're down, gossip about them behind their back, or hold them under condemnation "until they get their act together"...whatever that means.

Jesus said something very sobering to the religious establishment of His day. They dressed the part, acted the part, but were completely devoid of love. Jesus' response?

"I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you." Matthew 21:32

We've all seen situations where someone has fallen into sin, and the most brutal beatings often come from those who are supposed to protect us...those who are called "family". It is unfortunate. It was convicting to me to see how quickly the other waitresses covered for their co-worker this morning. If we as the Body of Christ restored others as quickly, wouldn't more people outside of our doors want to come in? Love covers...but it also draws hearts to the Father. We are to be known for our love.

I pray that we as a Body will become like that little group of waitresses this morning. No hesitation, and quick clean-up. We've got tables of our own to wait, you know? There are people starving out there for the love of God.

The Secret of Contentment

What if I told you that it is possible to have strength for every circumstance? What if I told you that it is possible to be content wherever you may be? Would you believe me? I ran into this scripture this morning:

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12-13

Paul wrote this letter to the Philippians while he was in jail. We also know that up until this time he had suffered a variety of setbacks, a couple of stonings, and a shipwreck. He was left for dead on numerous occasions, and his countrymen repeatedly turned their backs on him. And yet…he had found a “secret”. He had found a way to keep bitterness and resentment out of his heart. He had found a way to sleep at night. He was able to write and encourage the churches God had entrusted to him. He was content in every situation he found himself in. But how? 

He learned how to keep his eyes on the Lord. Being knocked off his ass certainly got his attention. But that’s not the only thing he learned.

Verse 13 tells us that we can do everything through him who gives us strength. Through Him. Through Christ. In order to experience the strength that Christ gives, we must be found in Him…do everything THROUGH Him. So, what does that look like in the natural?

Basically it means that Paul decided that he would fully identify with Christ and His resurrection. He got a revelation in his heart that we are “seated in heavenly places in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 2:6). He knew that God no longer looked at his sin and his failings, but He looked upon Jesus and saw us sitting there as well. Pure. Holy. Undefiled. Forgiven. Full of good works. Blessed. More than conquerors!

Once we understand who we are in Christ, and understand God’s great love for us, everything begins to change. We have the confidence to approach God because sin no longer has a hold on us…just like it no longer has a hold on Jesus. Because we are in Christ we have the ability to pull from His strength. We don’t have to rely on our own resources, because His resources are unlimited. Because you belong to Christ you have favor with the Father you didn’t have before you became a believer.

Your faith activates His favor.

Faith is coming into God’s presence with your hands outstretched, expecting them to be filled with what you need. He actually rewards those who make it their mission to earnestly seek Him (Hebrews 11:6). Paul knew this secret. He knew that he could not give what he did not have, and he expected the Lord to give him physical and emotional strength, and wisdom, and revelation for the churches. And God did just that. Paul did not allow his circumstances to determine the extent of how God could use him, or allow his situation to determine what he could receive from the Lord. He was content in the knowledge that God himself would give him everything he needed to meet the demands of the day…the week…the month…the year. God encouraged him to not get tired in doing the right thing, because it would pay off in more ways than what Paul could EVER imagine. We’re still reaping the good consequences of his decisions today.

Expect the favor of God on your life. Remember that no prayer is too small…no request too insignificant that He hasn’t already positioned Himself to hear and bless you in extraordinary ways. Expect unusual strength to come when you’re at the end of your own resources. And as you put your trust in Him…expect contentment. 

Sometimes he's just waiting for us to get out of the way so He can work through us.

Change

I wonder when she woke up that morning if she knew her entire world was about to change. Sometimes it sneaks up on us...change. And at other times it comes upon us so forcefully that we're left reeling with the shock of it.

I re-read the story about the woman at the well tonight (John 4:1-26). And as I read this familiar passage, I could see her so clearly in my mind's eye.

*** 

Hearing the piercing call of a rooster next door, she awoke with a start. After a fitful sleep she had awoken late once again. The light coming through the cracks of the window announced another lonely day. She knew she should probably feel fortunate to even have a bed to wake up in. Five husbands she'd had, and the man she shared a bed with didn't even have the decency to make her a married woman. But he put a roof over her head and kept her from begging on the streets. She'd put up with the gawking, the silence, the stares from the "good" women. Whoever they were. It seemed to her that they couldn't be too good with the tongues that wagged every time she walked by. Or had she imagined it? It had been so long since she'd had female companionship, sometimes she'd have conversations with herself just to pass the time.

The sun was getting higher.

She began the preparations for the day, and decided what she'd cook for dinner that night. She delayed the inevitable trip to the well until the village women were gone. It was better that way. At first she tried to join them, hoping to catch a bit of conversation here and there. Instead, she was met with awkward stares and silence. Always silence. She was not worthy to even share their gossip. Slipping on her sandals and hefting the jar to her hip, she made her way to the well. The sun was very high in the sky at this point, and beads of sweat began to form above her brow. And as she walked that well-worn path, she allowed her constant companions to join her...her never-ending regrets.

Her childhood played across her minds-eye in brilliant colors. Carefree, colorful days. Dreams of being a wife...a help-mate...a mother some day. She thought of her first marriage, and the hope - the great hope! - she carried within her heart as she finally became a bride. Then the heartache. The divorce papers. She had no children to call her own. What good is a wife that cannot bear a child? Accusations of infidelity bit at her heart like a snake. Another offer of marriage...and another, and another, and another. Five marriages in all. Empty promises. Heartache upon heartache until her heart was too calloused to even care anymore. Love anymore. Broken, shattered, without hope. No, there was no hope...no joy left for her. Just a bitter realization that she had to do what she could to survive.

Engrossed in her thoughts, she arrived at the well. With a start she suddenly realized she wasn't alone. Eyes to the ground, she made sure she didn't engage this man who clearly looked to be a Jewish Rabbi. What was he doing here in the heat of the day? Where were his disciples? She began to quickly fill her water jug from the well, being careful not to look at him. She could tell he was looking at her though. No, it was if she could feel him looking at her. But not like other men had looked at her...as if wanting something from her. No, this man was different.

"Will you give me a drink?" he asked.

"Give you a drink? I am a Samaritan, and you are a Jew. How can you ask me for a drink?" she softly replied.

"Obviously the heat has gotten to him," she thought. Samaritans and Jews DO NOT associate. Jewish people hate Samaritans, and they have even more reason to hate me. I'm not worthy to even step foot in their town, much less their temple courts.

And then He looked at her. And this time she couldn't avoid the deep pools of his eyes. His eyes were searching her own...calling to her. It was as if time all at once stood still, and held its breath.

With a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth he said, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water." 

All of a sudden, a river of questions hit her mind: "Living water? What could he mean? I'd love to be able to never come to this place again!"

"What do you mean...living water? You've nothing to draw with, and the well is very deep," she replied tentatively.

He answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." 

And at that moment hope burst forth upon her heart once more. Just listening to this simple man set her spirit on fire. Every word He was speaking rang with pure truth. It was unnerving and intoxicating at the same time. But just as quickly, his next words sent her back into a pit of despair.

"Sir, give me this water so that I won't get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water," she pleaded.

"Go, call your husband and come back," he replied.

Her heart sank, and the cloak of despair began to close around her shoulders once more. But she realized in that moment she had nothing left to lose by telling him the truth. Pride was a distant memory. And as she raised her eyes to his, she found there complete acceptance, not condemnation. There was no ridicule or rejection. No...his eyes were extending her an invitation. Would she accept?

"I have no husband," she said.

"You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true," he replied.

"He is a prophet," she thought. "A prophet in our midst...in MY midst!" Her heart began to beat faster as she realized what this could mean. Oh, she had heard the stories over the years, and at her mother's knee she learned about the great prophets of old. Elijah, Elisha, and Ezekiel among others. Amos and Joel. Men...mighty men of God. Men who called fire from the sky and raised men from the dead. Perhaps this prophet could restore her life. Restore her honor and raise her from her own living death. Could God work a miracle in her life?

"Sir," the woman said, "I can see that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem."

Then Jesus declared, "Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."

Truth. This prophet seemed to put a lot of emphasis on that one little word. It exuded from him somehow. Hadn't he just commended her for telling him the truth? And could this man be the Deliverer her people had been taught to hope for generation after generation?

She replied, "I know that Messiah is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us."

Then Jesus declared, "I who speak to you am he."

*** 

Jesus revealed Himself to this lonely, desperate, sin-stricken woman. He offered her all He had - Himself. And it was enough...more than enough! She found the living water that brought the dead back to life. And in her joy she evangelized her entire community and drew them to the Lord. Honor was returned. Joy was returned...hope returned in full measure. Pressed down, shaken together and running over. Changed. 

Alive!

love myself

I'm not getting any younger.

I realized this today as my daughter helped me with a self-portrait project. Thanks to Picture Inspiration I had to get on the other side of the camera. Thanks Tracey. Really.

One of the things I do when looking at the pics I take is open them on my computer and zoom in. Real close. I want to see the detail in my photographs...the little things that stick out when you eliminate the noise.

Today I saw wrinkles. Lots of them. My daughter asked me not to photoshop them out. I complied. We'll see how much she appreciates them when they're hers. At least I know I'm raising her with a healthy body image.

Sigh.

I had an epiphany the other day.

I had just finished showering, and sat in front of my mirror while I toweled my hair. I was looking down at my body, and all of a sudden I was struck with awe. Completely gobsmacked. My body has nurtured and protected three incredible human beings! I don't know why this struck me with such a fresh intensity. Perhaps in the past I was too busy trying to fit into a smaller size pair of jeans, or that cute bathing suit, or trying to maintain the body I had before children. Until that moment I don't think I had ever stopped to wonder at the fact that I truly am, "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14). God takes it even further. He calls our bodies His temple. Wrap your brain around that with me. His temple. The place where His glory dwells.

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Think about it. If the Queen of England came to visit your home, the whole city would know about it. And every time someone rode by your house they'd look to the person seated next to them and say, "The Queen actually visited this house!" The honor would remain long after the Queen was gone. Now look in the mirror. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, you have the Holy Spirit living inside your body! When you give your life to Him, and seek Him with all your heart, He comes and takes residency within you. Makes your heart His abode. How much more should you treasure and protect His home? How much love and honor should you pay to the vessel that contains the King of the Universe?

So what if this temple is showing a bit of wear on the outside. Time is the great equalizer, and life leaves an indelible mark on all of us. Stretch marks and laugh lines. Older looking hands. A chin with its own companion, with a few white hairs for good measure (on my head, not my chin...yet). And those are just the things you see on the outside of me.

But that's not who I really am. Who I really am is hidden in Him.

I have lived life. And considering the amount of laugh lines I have around my eyes, I suppose I've lived it well. I am at peace with the changes, because I'm changing on the inside too. I'm not the same person I was even five years ago. I'm not the same person I was yesterday. I'm changing day-by-day. And that's a good thing.

Today I will choose to love myself in all my imperfection, knowing that as each day goes by, my inner-reflection is becoming more and more like Jesus. White hair will come, wrinkles will come, but I'm believing for wisdom to come too. And a larger heart to love those around me. And the sound of laughter.

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Colossians 3:2-4 

do you have the time?

"(Mothers), do not exasperate your children;" Ephesians 6:4

One of the most valuable things we can do for our kids, especially as they become teenagers, is to make special time for them. One-on-one time. Face time.

I haven't done a very good job in that area over the past couple of months, especially for my middle daughter Madison. She called me on the carpet for it the other day...you know, for making time for everything and everyone but her. And I had to admit that she was right. And that was wrong. And so I headed to my calendar to fix my errant behavior. We had a date set for Thursday afternoon, and come hell or high water, we were gonna have some fun together!

And then...

My youngest daughter Rebecca became ill. She was sick for days, in fact. When I took her to the doctor yesterday, we found out she actually has walking pneumonia. Ugh. When I finally returned home from the doctor's office and the local CVS, I broke the news to Maddie that we weren't going out after all. Becca was running a high fever, and I didn't feel comfortable leaving her with her brother. And my middlest had a melt-down. I can't begin to tell you how disappointed she was. She really wanted to spend some alone time with me. So with the promise of breakfast the next morning, and shopping to her heart's content, we agreed to "try again tomorrow."

For those parents that believe that once your children become teens they don't "need" you as much, I would beg to differ. My teens seem to need me more now than when they were toddlers. I've loved every season they've gone through, but I truly love these years the best. So far they're bearing good fruit. Don't get me wrong...they're far from perfect, and so am I. But it's exciting to come alongside them in this season as more of a "coach" than a parent. Maddie and her brother Austin are on the cusp of adulthood, and beginning to make decisions that will affect the rest of their lives. My prayer is that they'll continue to want to spend time with us, share their lives with us, and look for our input when they have tough adult choices to make.

We ended up going to lunch instead of breakfast. I woke up at 3:30am, and couldn't go back to sleep until around 6:30am. I finally crawled out of bed stiff and tired at 10am. But we continued to make the best of things. Two cups of coffee and a hot shower later, we finally left the house. I took her to one of my favorite places, This Whole House, located in quaint downtown Summerville, SC. The food was delicious and the company divine. I even ran into a couple of friends from my Creative Memories days! The manager was so friendly, and even let me take some pics of her store. (Pssssttt...she's trying to sell her place to spend more time with her hubby.) You should drop in if you're ever nearby.

Lord, help me to cherish these days, for I know they are fleeting. One day my home will be empty, my schedule not so full, and I will wish for these days with teenagers once more. Help me to number my days aright, and give me a heart of wisdom. Amen.

an onion kind of day

I was taking my daughter Madison to her small group tonight when I began noticing the darkness all around me. We're driving along, and I'm noticing EVERYTHING. Shadow, contrast, headlights from oncoming cars...road signs. Somehow I want to learn how to capture good clear nighttime images with my camera. It's frustrating. I want to take a picture that will "see" as I see. I want it to be crystal clear, with no blurriness. I want to capture the light that shines out from the darkness. Is that too much to ask? *insert pleading tone here*

My mind is constantly working in metaphors. I suppose that's just how God speaks to me the most. He is also trying to get me to "see" as He sees. It's a constant battle, I assure you. But on those rare days that I do perceive as He does, it's like the floodgates of light and understanding, clarity and revelation come rushing into my thirsty heart. I get the supply I need for the day, and even have overflow to share with those around me. I love living life out of the overflow of what He provides! There's nothing quite like it.

Clarity. That's my word for this year. I had no idea when I picked up this digital camera that I would be immersed in a completely different world. I'm learning how to truly see. I'm learning to appreciate the details and celebrate the everyday. I'm learning consistency, and I'm being creatively challenged. Some days are frustrating. My youngest daughter Rebecca has been sick for the past couple of days, and today she ran a high fever. I stayed close to home. I ended up with about 23 pictures of a blooming onion today, and no, I'm not talking about the delicious appetizer at Outback. I'm talking about a real onion that has grown nice green shoots. (Maddie wants to plant it...) I appreciate the color, as it reminds me of Spring. Lord knows we're all ready to see that around here. And other than giving me an appreciation for onion skin, my compositions fell flat on their faces today. My daily pic I chose to edit and post today was from my Charleston trip three days ago. Oh well. Days like this are bound to happen.

That's just how life is I suppose. Some days my life is full of onions and isn't as "composed" as I'd like it to be. Sometimes it can be downright ugly! Some days are breathtaking and beautiful. Others are simply ordinary. But when I step far enough back to get His perspective, I can see the tapestry of grace He's designing all around me. The dark and the light and the contrast. And my heart is at peace once more because I know He holds the plan. All things do work together for good for those who love the Lord.

crisis

I wonder how many people walk by this fire hydrant every day. And each day it waits, a steady beacon of hope in the middle of a busy city. Ignored for the most part by pedestrians and motorists alike. It's only in the event of an emergency that it is used to it's fullest intent, and at that point everyone is glad this little hydrant is ready and available for service.

I was having a discussion recently with a young friend of mine. She was having to make some tough choices, and over and over again I kept hearing in my heart, "She's stronger than she thinks she is." I felt the touch of God on this thought, so I shared it with her. Most times we don't know what is truly residing in our hearts until a crisis hits. We don't know the provision God has already placed there until it's time to make a withdrawal.

1 Corinthians 10:13 promises:

"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure."

He will show you a way out. When you're facing a brick wall, there's a ladder somewhere. When situations seem completely out of control, and your emotions are on fire - He's the cool water to your soul. Our job is to look for him in the midst of the chaos.

lenses

During my quiet time this morning, I was asking the Lord to help me find my center...find my balance again. My time with Him has been hit-and-miss since the holidays and I just felt off-kilter. I was judging myself for not spending enough time with Him. It's amazing how quickly He answers our prayers sometimes.

"Child, keep the eyes of of your heart turned toward heaven. Look for Me - My signature - on all who are around you. Look for Me in laughter - look for Me in darkness and thunder and rain. I am surrounding you, enveloping you. Ask Me for the eyes to see. This is not a hard thing for Me to do for you. It is My desire that you see as I see so you can judge righteously. Focus your spiritual eyes on the love I hold within My heart. Every decision you make must be made through the filter of love, for only through the lens of love can you truly judge righteously."

Oh, goodness...I needed that reminder. He impressed upon my heart that I won't be able to see myself correctly unless I'm looking through the lens of love. It reminded me of the story of the prodigal son. He had completely destroyed his life. He broke just about every commandment that could possibly be broken. And when he finally hit bottom, his heart reached out for his home, and the father he'd left behind. He rehearsed over and over again on that long road back home the words of repentance he'd say to his father. But while he was still just a speck on the horizon, the father saw him. Calling behind him for his servants to bring a robe, ring, and sandals, the father RAN to meet his son. He ordered them to prepare a feast!

Love runs. Love covers. Love CELEBRATES!

I'm sure it blew his mind how much love the father was lavishing on him. It just didn't make sense. But the father saw him through eyes of love. The father saw him as being resurrected from the dead. And this is how God sees us as well.

We all wear glasses. Some are placed there during childhood, and some are placed there by religion. Some are there due to hurt and trauma. But none of them will enable us to see ourselves or others clearly unless we're looking through the lens of love. God has given us everything pertaining to life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3), and the clarity to see as He sees is a vital part of what He's provided for his kids.

Put on love. Place it on the eyes of your heart so you can see as He sees. Begin to see yourself through the Eyes of Love.

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Colossians 3:12-14

a guilty conscience

"Under the old system, the blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a young cow could cleanse people's bodies from ceremonial impurity. Just think how much more the blood of Christ will purify our consciences from sinful deeds so that we can worship the living God. For by the power of the eternal Spirit, Christ offered himself to God as a perfect sacrifice for our sins." 

Hebrews 9:13-14 NLT

Ever have your conscience "prick" you? That niggling in the back of your mind that those words that left your mouth might not have been the right thing to say? Perhaps you indulged in a bit of gossip thinly veiled as a prayer request. Maybe passed judgment on a stranger. Spoke ill of your spouse. Criticized a loved one. Like the song we used to sing as children...

"Ashes, ashes, we ALL FALL down!"

We all fall down. We all make bad choices from time to time. We miss the mark. (God calls it sin.) And we are taught from the time we are children to listen to our "conscience", for it will keep us out of trouble. Right? Well, sometimes.

Because of the Fall, my default setting for my conscience was "guilty". But because I am a new creature in Christ and follow Him, my default setting is now set to "holy". Now I can have a face-to-face relationship with the Father. Because of Christ's perfect sacrifice, my sin doesn't separate me from Him any longer. The price for my freedom has been completely paid. I am wholly and dearly loved by the Father, and I am free to become the dream that He has had on His heart since the foundation of this world! But my mind needs to be renewed to the truth of these things.

I've come to understand that my conscience can be defective. If it sides with the truth found in God's word, then, yes - it's a good thing to listen to. But if it decides to side with lies concerning my identity in Christ or anything contrary to scripture, then no. And I refuse to give it the time of day. 1 John 4:1 says:

"Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world."

Jesus came to cleanse us and deliver us from a guilty conscience - a heart that is totally focused on sin. It's okay to question the messages we are hearing in our hearts. We are commanded to guard our hearts diligently (Proverbs 4:23). Our life flows from this very place, and it must be protected at all cost. It is the blood of Jesus that purifies my conscience. Why? So I can worship Him in spirit and in truth. So I can worship the living God. If I hear a voice that dissuades me from that one magnificent purpose, chances are I'm listening to the wrong voice. I heard a pastor say one time,

"I can't afford to have a single thought in my head that God doesn't have in His." ~Bill Johnson

Now THAT is truth you can hang your heart on.

Have a guilty conscience? Take it to the Lord. He alone can see clearly to cleanse you and purify you and set you back on your feet once more. Ask Him for His perspective. He delights to see His kids free! Don't let it keep you from receiving His free gift of grace in your time of need.

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us 

in our time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16

signs of life

Creativity. Music. Color. Change. 

All these things bring my heart life, even in the midst of winter's shadow.

balance

I found it ironic that today's assignment for Picture Winter was to find something that exemplified balance. Balance is something that I have fought to achieve for so many years. Actually, I believe most people struggle with this issue. We have a multitude of things pulling for our attention on a daily basis...a lot of really good things. That's what makes our daily decisions so difficult sometimes. It's not a choice between good and bad, but a choice between good and best. What's the best use of my time? What are the best relationships to nurture? If my goal as a Christian is to love God and love people, how do I do that practically? What does that look like? Who comes first?

As a believer, I know that God must come first. He tells me that if I seek Him, I will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). And oh, how I need to find Him! He's the only one that can give me clear direction for my life. But many days it's a struggle just to get to that place. If we only had a pause button to push when the world starts spinning out of control!

Every generation has faced challenges in their devotion to God, and ours is no exception. We are virtually connected to our world in a multitude of ways. Television, cell phones, texting, blogging, email, Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, etc., claim hour upon hour of our time. Time stealers. None of these things are inherently bad, and I'd be the first one to say I've enjoyed many of them. But after awhile, they numb you to hearing God's voice. Sometimes it's good to just take a break and disengage from technology. To reset your internal clock. To just breathe and "be" a human be-ing instead of a human do-ing. To invest more time in people instead of things, to turn our heart towards God and just listen. He has amazing things to speak to our hearts if we'd just be still, and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10).

One of the best ways I've found to bring balance into my life is to enter into a time of fasting. My church is joining others all across the world in a 21 day fast. For the next 21 days we are choosing to set aside those things that have drawn our hearts away from God and reconnect to each other. We're putting first things first. We're believing for miracles. We're praying audacious prayers. Some of us are fasting various types of food, and some are fasting technology. Many of us are combining the two. We're not fasting to get God's attention...we're fasting to get the world's grip off our hearts. It's not a time of mourning over what we're giving up, but a hopeful expectation of hearing God's voice, and getting His direction for the year. It's a time to increase our faith. Faith comes from hearing the rhema (revealed) word of God..not from having heard (Romans 10:17). It is an active listening for His voice. I'm looking forward to this time of renewal, and can't wait to see what God says to my heart in the coming days.

Here's to a New Year that is balanced and full of blessings in every way!

knit together

 

"I want them to be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love. I want them to have complete confidence that they understand God's mysterious plan, which is Christ himself." Colossians 2:2 NLT

I've been rejoicing in my heart lately over all the talk from various ministries concerning the unity and building up of the Body of Christ. It seems everywhere I turn people are beginning to really focus on what it means to nurture, protect, and encourage community and well-being in the Body. What a breath of fresh air! And what will strengthen us? The scripture above tells us we'll be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love. It all goes back to the most important command: Love God, love ourselves, love others (Matthew 22:37-39). We must choose to celebrate the Christ in each other, and cultivate a culture of honor and respect. If we say we love God, and yet hate our brothers and sisters, is the truth really in us? Now flip it around. If we love each other well, and support, encourage and embrace each other...how can God not show up in our midst? I heard a pastor say yesterday,

"If you need a visit from Jesus, start celebrating the people around you, and start glorifying God in them." Eric Johnson

It's simply profound isn't it? Love God. Love yourself. Love people. Be knit together!

rest

"Perhaps I will stay with you awhile, or even spend the winter, so that you can help me on my journey, wherever I go."  1 Corinthians 16:6

***

One of the things I love about winter is the peacefulness of it. My body automatically wants to slow down...snuggle in...stay warm. I crave a steamy mug of hot apple cider, a warm blanket, and a good, long book. 

As I went outside today to take pictures, I went with the assignment to find "quiet beauty and rest". I found these Black-eyed Susan seed pods just off my back porch. To look at them you'd never know that just a few months ago they were vibrant yellow flowers. But there's a dignity in their form now, and the promise of new growth in the Spring.

They're at rest.

It gives me hope that during the winter seasons of my own life there's more going on than what appears on the surface. That even when things seem dead and lifeless, there is still hope. It is good to go through these resting seasons. New adventures are just around the corner!

cracked pots

I have this planter next to my kitchen sink. It recently developed a crack in the side, so each time I water the plant, it just pours right out. It's a great reminder of my own imperfections and "cracks". If I don't ensure that the soil stays moist in the pot, the plant will dry out and die. If I don't take the time to nurture my heart, my dreams will die.  Life pulls on us, and even breaks us at times. We leak. Good thing God's mercy is new every morning! And when I am still before Him, not only does He fill me with everything I need to face the demands of the day, but He often repairs the cracks all together. 

And sometimes, He uses the cracks for His own glory. Sometimes He creates them Himself so what's inside will refresh the needs of others.

"Then God made a crack in the hollow rock in Lehi and water came out of it; and after drinking, (Samson's) spirit came back to him and he was strong again..." Judges 15:19

Be a blessing today...

mirror, mirror

Women have a love-hate relationship with their mirrors. At least this one does. Nevertheless, most of us would readily admit to checking ourselves before walking out the door.

Today I was to find an everyday object to celebrate...something that I use daily. I was going to attempt taking a good picture of my journal, pen and bible, but that seemed too obvious. And I never could get the right angle to save my life. But as I was getting dressed this morning the mirror quickly drew my attention. How often had I used it to do my makeup, check my hair, and pluck those unruly eyebrows? How many times had I frowned at the newest wrinkle? Made stupid faces that would make my kids howl with laughter? Made sure my double chin wasn't sprouting a triplet? *sigh*

Thank God who I am on the outside is not who I am on the inside. For God has called me "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14). What's another wrinkle when my Creator has called me His special treasure?

I think I'll go practice more silly faces. Somewhere I heard that laughter does good like medicine. ;0)

rain, rain, go away...

It's been a very cold and rainy week. My assignment for Day 4 was to go and find some sunshine, or some representation of something that even remotely reminded me of warmer days. I can't remember a colder winter in the South than what we've had this year. We've had snow twice here in Charleston in 2010. Ridiculous, I tell you! Fortunately for me I had the foresight to purchase a new wool coat. Bought it on a whim when it was still 80 degrees outside. I'm so grateful I listened to my gut this time!

And if the sun is not shining where you are...well, get a little creative. ;0)

Here's hoping your week is sunny and bright!

promise & possibility

Today's assignment from Picture Winter...

"Be on the lookout today for something that speaks of promise or possibility - something hopeful, touching, soul stirring. Something that reminds you that anything is possible and we have everything to hope for."

Everything to hope for... 

I couldn't think of a better subject matter than my brushes. I've painted since I was a child. It truly is my creative first-love. With my brushes I can create anything my heart can conjure. I'm limited only by my imagination (and my pocketbook!), and I can choose whatever colors I may fancy at the moment to create mood, drama, or a sense of order. Perhaps chaos. Truly, the possibilities are endless.

There's a sense of complete awe and wonder for me as I look upon a pure white canvas. And a part of me in that moment knows a little of what God must have felt before His very first creation. He was about to place a little bit of His own heart upon the canvas of our world. And perhaps He held His breath for a moment too.

winter gloom

I woke up not feeling well again today. But I showered and dressed and went to church anyway. It's such a privilege to serve on the prayer wall and take others to the throne of God in intercession. But I realized I needed prayer first, so I sought out a good friend and received the grace I needed to finish out the morning. (How many times do we just try to "muscle through" our day without asking for much-needed prayer???) I just felt like I was moving in slow-mo, and desperately wanted to take a looooonnnnngggg winters nap. My jammies were calling my name.

I tried taking pics this morning, but it was a bust. I hadn't even had my first cup of tea, so my mind was still fuzzy. I decided I'd try again later.

I slept for three hours this afternoon. And I do feel better! I heard a pastor say once that the most spiritual thing you could do sometimes is just take a nap. I heartily agree!

I was able to take more pics this afternoon. And this was the one I chose for the 365 Project. It makes me want to break out in poetic song. How about a little winter haiku? :0)

Coffee and tea on

a winter day; tea for you,

the other for me

Charles de Lint

happy NEW year!

Bacon, blueberries and my best friend
Rushing to dress, blow my nose (again)
Hugs, more hugs,...just one more hug from Nathan

Drive

Welcome!
Hugs, smiles, scintillating smells
Feasting
Kids frolicking, chicken dancing, bells ringing
Talking (last night drinking, college-picking, marriages pending...)
Goodbyes
Hugs

Drive
...and drive
...and drive some more

FATZ Cafe!
Rest
Laugh

Drive

Home!
Unpack

Happy New Year Everyone!

new beginnings

I love a fresh start. A clean sheet of paper. A new year.

This year has been wonderful on many fronts, and I have MUCH to be thankful for. And this Christmas season has brought its many blessings, and expensive gifts. I can't remember a Christmas where I've been blessed so much materially.

• two pairs of Sanita clogs that i adore
• one fabulous Nook
• a Vera wallet to match my handbag (thanks kids!!!)
• and a Nikon D70!

The Nikon is actually a wonderful hand-me-down from my friend Beth. I'm sitting at her Mac as I type this post, in Belton, SC. With 56 minutes left in 2010, I'm beginning to feel a bit nostaligic. And I'm fighting a post-Christmas cold, so I'm feeling a bit loopy - hence all the rabbit-trailing. *grin*

The camera is pretty intimidating. Seriously. And it takes a lot to intimidate me technologically. But I'm looking forward to the challenge of learning all the cool features. Beth has talked me into joining her for Project 365 that is sponsored by www.shuttersisters.com. Every day, for the next 365 days, I will attempt to post a picture and learn all the ins and outs of this DSLR. I'm hoping i'll be able to spark another creative side of me in the process. 

The pic above is my first attempt at using this fabulous camera.

Here's to a very blessed, and VERY creative New Year.