love myself

I'm not getting any younger.

I realized this today as my daughter helped me with a self-portrait project. Thanks to Picture Inspiration I had to get on the other side of the camera. Thanks Tracey. Really.

One of the things I do when looking at the pics I take is open them on my computer and zoom in. Real close. I want to see the detail in my photographs...the little things that stick out when you eliminate the noise.

Today I saw wrinkles. Lots of them. My daughter asked me not to photoshop them out. I complied. We'll see how much she appreciates them when they're hers. At least I know I'm raising her with a healthy body image.

Sigh.

I had an epiphany the other day.

I had just finished showering, and sat in front of my mirror while I toweled my hair. I was looking down at my body, and all of a sudden I was struck with awe. Completely gobsmacked. My body has nurtured and protected three incredible human beings! I don't know why this struck me with such a fresh intensity. Perhaps in the past I was too busy trying to fit into a smaller size pair of jeans, or that cute bathing suit, or trying to maintain the body I had before children. Until that moment I don't think I had ever stopped to wonder at the fact that I truly am, "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14). God takes it even further. He calls our bodies His temple. Wrap your brain around that with me. His temple. The place where His glory dwells.

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Think about it. If the Queen of England came to visit your home, the whole city would know about it. And every time someone rode by your house they'd look to the person seated next to them and say, "The Queen actually visited this house!" The honor would remain long after the Queen was gone. Now look in the mirror. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, you have the Holy Spirit living inside your body! When you give your life to Him, and seek Him with all your heart, He comes and takes residency within you. Makes your heart His abode. How much more should you treasure and protect His home? How much love and honor should you pay to the vessel that contains the King of the Universe?

So what if this temple is showing a bit of wear on the outside. Time is the great equalizer, and life leaves an indelible mark on all of us. Stretch marks and laugh lines. Older looking hands. A chin with its own companion, with a few white hairs for good measure (on my head, not my chin...yet). And those are just the things you see on the outside of me.

But that's not who I really am. Who I really am is hidden in Him.

I have lived life. And considering the amount of laugh lines I have around my eyes, I suppose I've lived it well. I am at peace with the changes, because I'm changing on the inside too. I'm not the same person I was even five years ago. I'm not the same person I was yesterday. I'm changing day-by-day. And that's a good thing.

Today I will choose to love myself in all my imperfection, knowing that as each day goes by, my inner-reflection is becoming more and more like Jesus. White hair will come, wrinkles will come, but I'm believing for wisdom to come too. And a larger heart to love those around me. And the sound of laughter.

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Colossians 3:2-4 

signs of life

Creativity. Music. Color. Change. 

All these things bring my heart life, even in the midst of winter's shadow.

hide me

"The Lord is near to all who call on Him,

to all who call on Him in truth." Psalm 145:18

sometimes i believe i can fool God. sometimes i think that He doesn't really know what i'm struggling with, and i try to put a happier spin on the situations i find myself in so i "look" better in His eyes. or i think that maybe i can somehow figure things out on my own.

crazy.

i forget that He knows EVERYTHING. yep, everything. and the only thing He really requires of me is that i come to Him in truth. that means i am completely transparent and honest with whatever i'm struggling with - great or small. it means that i stop pretending i have all the answers and admit that He's the only one who can see from an eternal perspective.

"All my longings lie open before You, O Lord;

my sighing is not hidden from You." Psalm 38:9

since the incident in the Garden, we have the tendency to default to the position of hiding. just like adam and eve, we hide in our hearts from the One who's constantly pursuing us for intimacy. hiding, in any form it takes, keeps us from the love of God.

however, He does condone one particular kind of hiding...

hiding in Him.

"Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God's right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:1-3 NLT

i love this word - my real life is hidden in Him. and as long as i come to Him in a spirit of truth, transparency, and humility, then i can share in His abundant life as well. 

and that's something to shout about!

"I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)." John 10:10b AMP