...through my looking glass

Autumn Crowned

2011-11-16T11:42:00.001-05:00

Autumn crowns her tousled head

With leaves of gold and crimson red

And 'round her neck she dons a cape

Of yellow, orange and purple taint

And crying out upon each field

Her voice is raised, her heart is filled:

"Summer is gone and the days are old,

Prepare! Prepare! for winter's cold."

~ Lori Anderson-Bowen

Letters from Vietnam

2011-11-11T09:30:00.001-05:00

Last weekend my daughter Madison and I were sorting through mounds of pictures I have of my family. My two older children will be graduating next May, and we needed pictures for their yearbook. As I pulled down one of the many boxes from my bedroom closet, I noticed a stack of letters I didn't recognize, held in a quart-sized ziploc bag. There must have been about 50 or so. Glancing at the address and postmarked date on the front of the first letter, I realized that these were letters my grandmother had received from my father while he was on his first and second tours in Vietnam with the Army.

I have no idea how I have these letters. I don't remember my grandmother giving them to me before she died, and I've never read them before. I don't have hardly anything from my dad. He passed away when I was 16 years old. Needless to say, I held the stack of treasures to my heart and absolutely wept.

This morning I spent the first two hours sitting in bed reading slowly through every word he wrote. There are things in these letters I never knew about my dad...like he planned to be a Minister of Music one day. He loved taking pictures, and would send my grandmother slides of all the places he would go. How I wish I had those slides! And at one point, he was finally forced to engage the enemy. He must have received a medal for this experience, and these were his thoughts on the matter:

"Mom, about the medals and all that riff-raff. For my own part, I don't want any. All they are good for is to wear on your dress uniform and have some yo-yo come up and ask what they are and how you got them. I know what I have done and I hope someday to forget. I'm sure not proud of what is done in order to get a piece of tin for your chest. Most people at home don't understand what war is all about. They don't know how it is to be made into a human "god" with power over life and death. Or to sometimes see a helicopter with friends of yours start taking rounds and finally to go down in an inaccessible place and finally to know that there's nothing in your power to help them - except pray. No, Mom, I'm not a hero because I have a heart and a conscience. Heroes have only ice-water where blood should be."

There are stories he held in his heart that tormented him severely when he would sleep at night. But again and again he would say that it was worth it. He was protecting his family back home...protecting the freedoms we enjoy and often take for granted. We owe them so much.

Today our country is celebrating Veteran's Day. I can't tell you how proud I am of the men in my family who have served this fine country, and the women who have faithfully stood behind them. When I look at our flag, it is a constant reminder of the blood, sweat and tears our men and women of the armed forces have committed to seeing her continue to fly for the next generation.

Please join me in honoring our veterans today...and every day.

Broken, or Covered?

2011-11-08T20:25:00.000-05:00

Recently, my husband and I were left without kids on a beautiful Saturday morning, so we took full advantage of the situation and went out for a breakfast date. (With three kids, you have to steal time when you can.) After looking over the menu, we placed our order and began to catch up on life. With a cup of hot coffee in my hands, I settled into the conversation and relished each interruption-free moment with my man. But God had a different plan on His agenda that morning, as He often does.

I had a direct view of the kitchen from where I was sitting, and the waiters and waitresses were constantly going back and forth to place or retrieve customer orders. It's pretty fast-paced. One waitress didn't quite make it fully out the door of the kitchen when she lost her footing and fell - several orders on her tray falling along with her. Plates crashed to the ground and shattered. Quickly getting up from the floor, she ran back into the kitchen. Immediately, four other waitresses grabbed dust pans and brooms and began to clean up the mess. I don't think I've ever seen a team move so fast.

They covered for her.

This poor waitress was probably completely humiliated, shaken, and probably beat herself up for not being more careful. She knew orders had to be prepared again, and her customers would probably be upset. We later found out that she was being taken to the doctor to have stitches for a large gash to her hand. She'd had a rough day already, and it wasn't even 9:30 in the morning!

As I sat there watching the clean-up process it occurred to me that I was watching love in action. Actually, the phrase that jumped to my heart was "love covers".

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sin." 1 Peter 4:8

Love covers!

It's a simple concept really. When those around us miss the mark, we cover them. We extend grace and mercy to them. We restore them. Sometimes we as the Body of Christ forget that's our mission. We are to co-labor with Christ to restore the people He loves back to His heart. Not through condemnation, but through love and a demonstration of God's goodness. We quickly clean up after one another, and if we need a doctor, or stitches, we drive them to the hospital. We don't kick them while they're down, gossip about them behind their back, or hold them under condemnation "until they get their act together"...whatever that means.

Jesus said something very sobering to the religious establishment of His day. They dressed the part, acted the part, but were completely devoid of love. Jesus' response?

"I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you." Matthew 21:32

We've all seen situations where someone has fallen into sin, and the most brutal beatings often come from those who are supposed to protect us...those who are called "family". It is unfortunate. It was convicting to me to see how quickly the other waitresses covered for their co-worker this morning. If we as the Body of Christ restored others as quickly, wouldn't more people outside of our doors want to come in? Love covers...but it also draws hearts to the Father. We are to be known for our love.

I pray that we as a Body will become like that little group of waitresses this morning. No hesitation, and quick clean-up. We've got tables of our own to wait, you know? There are people starving out there for the love of God.

Promise

2011-10-25T12:25:00.000-04:00

"Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you'll have it forever, real and eternal." John 12:24 MSG

Autumn Blessings to You...

2011-10-23T19:17:00.000-04:00

The Secret of Contentment

2011-10-20T12:30:00.000-04:00

What if I told you that it is possible to havestrength for every circumstance? What if I told you that it is possible to becontent wherever you may be? Would you believe me? I ran into this scripture this morning:

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it isto have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I cando everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12-13

Paul wrote this letter to the Philippians while hewas in jail. We also know that up until this time he had suffered a variety ofsetbacks, a couple of stonings, and a shipwreck. He was left for dead onnumerous occasions, and his countrymen repeatedly turned their backs on him.And yet…he had found a “secret”. He had found a way to keep bitterness andresentment out of his heart. He had found a way to sleep at night. He was ableto write and encourage the churches God had entrusted to him. He was content inevery situation he found himself in. But how?

He learned how to keep his eyes on the Lord. Being knocked off his ass certainly got his attention. But that’s not the only thinghe learned.

Verse 13 tells us that we can do everythingthrough him who gives us strength. Through Him. Through Christ. Inorder to experience the strength that Christ gives, we must be foundin Him…do everything THROUGH Him. So, what does that look like in thenatural?

Basically it means that Paul decided that he wouldfully identify with Christ and His resurrection. He got a revelation in hisheart that we are “seated in heavenly places in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 2:6). Heknew that God no longer looked at his sin and his failings, but He looked uponJesus and saw us sitting there as well. Pure. Holy. Undefiled. Forgiven. Full ofgood works. Blessed. More than conquerors!

Once we understand who we are in Christ, andunderstand God’s great love for us, everything begins to change. We havethe confidence to approach God because sin no longer has a hold on us…just likeit no longer has a hold on Jesus. Because we are in Christ we have the abilityto pull from His strength. We don’t have to rely on our own resources, becauseHis resources are unlimited. Because you belong to Christ you have favor withthe Father you didn’t have before you became a believer.

Yourfaith activates His favor.

Faith is coming into God’s presence with your handsoutstretched, expecting them to be filled with what you need. He actually rewardsthose who make it their mission to earnestly seek Him (Hebrews 11:6). Paul knewthis secret. He knew that he could not give what he did not have, and heexpected the Lord to give him physical and emotional strength, and wisdom, andrevelation for the churches. And God did just that. Paul did not allow hiscircumstances to determine the extent of how God could use him, or allow hissituation to determine what he could receive from the Lord. He was content inthe knowledge that God himself would give him everything he needed to meet thedemands of the day…the week…the month…the year. God encouraged him to not get tired in doing the right thing, because it would pay off in more ways than what Paul could EVER imagine. We’re still reaping the good consequences of hisdecisions today.

Expect the favor of God onyour life. Remember that no prayer is too small…no request too insignificantthat He hasn’t already positioned Himself to hear and bless you in extraordinaryways. Expect unusual strength to come when you’re at the end of yourown resources. And as you put your trust in Him…expect contentment.

Sometimes he's just waiting for us to get out of the way so He can work through us.

Change

2011-10-13T00:25:00.000-04:00

I wonder when she woke up that morning if she knew her entire world was about to change. Sometimes it sneaks up on us...change. And at other times it comes upon us so forcefully that we're left reeling with the shock of it.

I re-read the story about the woman at the well tonight (John 4:1-26). And as I read this familiar passage, I could see her so clearly in my mind's eye.

***

Hearing the piercing call of a rooster next door, she awoke with a start. After a fitful sleep she had awoken late once again. The light coming through the cracks of the window announced another lonely day. She knew she should probably feel fortunate to even have a bed to wake up in. Five husbands she'd had, and the man she shared a bed with didn't even have the decency to make her a married woman. But he put a roof over her head and kept her from begging on the streets. She'd put up with the gawking, the silence, the stares from the "good" women. Whoever they were. It seemed to her that they couldn't be too good with the tongues that wagged every time she walked by. Or had she imagined it? It had been so long since she'd had female companionship, sometimes she'd have conversations with herself just to pass the time.

The sun was getting higher.

She began the preparations for the day, and decided what she'd cook for dinner that night. She delayed the inevitable trip to the well until the village women were gone. It was better that way. At first she tried to join them, hoping to catch a bit of conversation here and there. Instead, she was met with awkward stares and silence. Always silence. She was not worthy to even share their gossip. Slipping on her sandals and hefting the jar to her hip, she made her way to the well. The sun was very high in the sky at this point, and beads of sweat began to form above her brow. And as she walked that well-worn path, she allowed her constant companions to join her...her never-ending regrets.

Her childhood played across her minds-eye in brilliant colors. Carefree, colorful days. Dreams of being a wife...a help-mate...a mother some day. She thought of her first marriage, and the hope - the great hope! - she carried within her heart as she finally became a bride. Then the heartache. The divorce papers. She had no children to call her own. What good is a wife that cannot bear a child? Accusations of infidelity bit at her heart like a snake. Another offer of marriage...and another, and another, and another. Five marriages in all. Empty promises. Heartache upon heartache until her heart was too calloused to even care anymore. Love anymore. Broken, shattered, without hope. No, there was no hope...no joy left for her. Just a bitter realization that she had to do what she could to survive.

Engrossed in her thoughts, she arrived at the well. With a start she suddenly realized she wasn't alone. Eyes to the ground, she made sure she didn't engage this man who clearly looked to be a Jewish Rabbi. What was he doing here in the heat of the day? Where were his disciples? She began to quickly fill her water jug from the well, being careful not to look at him. She could tell he was looking at her though. No, it was if she could feel him looking at her. But not like other men had looked at her...as if wanting something from her. No, this man was different.

"Will you give me a drink?" he asked.

"Give you a drink? I am a Samaritan, and you are a Jew. How can you ask me for a drink?" she softly replied.

"Obviously the heat has gotten to him," she thought. Samaritans and Jews DO NOT associate. Jewish people hate Samaritans, and they have even more reason to hate me. I'm not worthy to even step foot in their town, much less their temple courts.

And then He looked at her. And this time she couldn't avoid the deep pools of his eyes. His eyes were searching her own...calling to her. It was as if time all at once stood still, and held its breath.

With a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth he said, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water."

All of a sudden, a river of questions hit her mind: "Living water? What could he mean? I'd love to be able to never come to this place again!"

"What do you mean...living water? You've nothing to draw with, and the well is very deep," she replied tentatively.

He answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

And at that moment hope burst forth upon her heart once more. Just listening to this simple man set her spirit on fire. Every word He was speaking rang with pure truth. It was unnerving and intoxicating at the same time. But just as quickly, his next words sent her back into a pit of despair.

"Sir, give me this water so that I won't get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water," she pleaded.

"Go, call your husband and come back," he replied.

Her heart sank, and the cloak of despair began to close around her shoulders once more. But she realized in that moment she had nothing left to lose by telling him the truth. Pride was a distant memory. And as she raised her eyes to his, she found there complete acceptance, not condemnation. There was no ridicule or rejection. No...his eyes were extending her an invitation. Would she accept?

"I have no husband," she said.

"You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true," he replied.

"He is a prophet," she thought. "A prophet in our midst...in MY midst!" Her heart began to beat faster as she realized what this could mean. Oh, she had heard the stories over the years, and at her mother's knee she learned about the great prophets of old. Elijah, Elisha, and Ezekiel among others. Amos and Joel. Men...mighty men of God. Men who called fire from the sky and raised men from the dead. Perhaps this prophet could restore her life. Restore her honor and raise her from her own living death. Could God work a miracle in her life?

"Sir," the woman said, "I can see that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem."

Then Jesus declared, "Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."

Truth. This prophet seemed to put a lot of emphasis on that one little word. It exuded from him somehow. Hadn't he just commended her for telling him the truth? And could this man be the Deliverer her people had been taught to hope for generation after generation?

She replied, "I know that Messiah is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us."

Then Jesus declared, "I who speak to you am he."

***

Jesus revealed Himself to this lonely, desperate, sin-stricken woman. He offered her all He had - Himself. And it was enough...more than enough! She found the living water that brought the dead back to life. And in her joy she evangelized her entire community and drew them to the Lord. Honor was returned. Joy was returned...hope returned in full measure. Pressed down, shaken together and running over. Changed.

Alive!

love myself

2011-03-03T00:14:00.003-05:00

I'm not getting any younger.

I realized this today as my daughter helped me with a self-portrait project. Thanks to Picture Inspiration I had to get on the other side of the camera. Thanks Tracey. Really.

One of the things I do when looking at the pics I take is open them on my computer and zoom in. Real close. I want to see the detail in my photographs...the little things that stick out when you eliminate the noise.

Today I saw wrinkles. Lots of them. My daughter asked me not to photoshop them out. I complied. We'll see how much she appreciates them when they're hers. At least I know I'm raising her with a healthy body image.

Sigh.

I had an epiphany the other day.

I had just finished showering, and sat in front of my mirror while I toweled my hair. I was looking down at my body, and all of a sudden I was struck with awe. Completely gobsmacked. My body has nurtured and protected three incredible human beings! I don't know why this struck me with such a fresh intensity. Perhaps in the past I was too busy trying to fit into a smaller size pair of jeans, or that cute bathing suit, or trying to maintain the body I had before children. Until that moment I don't think I had ever stopped to wonder at the fact that I truly am, "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14). God takes it even further. He calls our bodies His temple. Wrap your brain around that with me. His temple. The place where His glory dwells.

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Think about it. If the Queen of England came to visit your home, the whole city would know about it. And every time someone rode by your house they'd look to the person seated next to them and say, "The Queen actually visited this house!" The honor would remain long after the Queen was gone. Now look in the mirror. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, you have the Holy Spirit living inside your body! When you give your life to Him, and seek Him with all your heart, He comes and takes residency within you. Makes your heart His abode. How much more should you treasure and protect His home? How much love and honor should you pay to the vessel that contains the King of the Universe?

So what if this temple is showing a bit of wear on the outside. Time is the great equalizer, and life leaves an indelible mark on all of us. Stretch marks and laugh lines. Older looking hands. A chin with its own companion, with a few white hairs for good measure (on my head, not my chin...yet). And those are just the things you see on the outside of me.

But that's not who I really am. Who I really am is hidden in Him.

I have lived life. And considering the amount of laugh lines I have around my eyes, I suppose I've lived it well. I am at peace with the changes, because I'm changing on the inside too. I'm not the same person I was even five years ago. I'm not the same person I was yesterday. I'm changing day-by-day. And that's a good thing.

Today I will choose to love myself in all my imperfection, knowing that as each day goes by, my inner-reflection is becoming more and more like Jesus. White hair will come, wrinkles will come, but I'm believing for wisdom to come too. And a larger heart to love those around me. And the sound of laughter.

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Colossians 3:2-4

do you have the time?

2011-02-27T00:19:00.001-05:00

"(Mothers), do not exasperate your children;" Ephesians 6:4

One of the most valuable things we can do for our kids, especially as they become teenagers, is to make special time for them. One-on-one time. Face time.

I haven't done a very good job in that area over the past couple of months, especially for my middle daughter Madison. She called me on the carpet for it the other day...you know, for making time for everything and everyone but her. And I had to admit that she was right. And that was wrong. And so I headed to my calendar to fix my errant behavior. We had a date set for Thursday afternoon, and come hell or high water, we were gonna have some fun together!

And then...

My youngest daughter Rebecca became ill. She was sick for days, in fact. When I took her to the doctor yesterday, we found out she actually has walking pneumonia. Ugh. When I finally returned home from the doctor's office and the local CVS, I broke the news to Maddie that we weren't going out after all. Becca was running a high fever, and I didn't feel comfortable leaving her with her brother. And my middlest had a melt-down. I can't begin to tell you how disappointed she was. She really wanted to spend some alone time with me. So with the promise of breakfast the next morning, and shopping to her heart's content, we agreed to "try again tomorrow."

For those parents that believe that once your children become teens they don't "need" you as much, I would beg to differ. My teens seem to need me more now than when they were toddlers. I've loved every season they've gone through, but I truly love these years the best. So far they're bearing good fruit. Don't get me wrong...they're far from perfect, and so am I. But it's exciting to come alongside them in this season as more of a "coach" than a parent. Maddie and her brother Austin are on the cusp of adulthood, and beginning to make decisions that will affect the rest of their lives. My prayer is that they'll continue to want to spend time with us, share their lives with us, and look for our input when they have tough adult choices to make.

We ended up going to lunch instead of breakfast. I woke up at 3:30am, and couldn't go back to sleep until around 6:30am. I finally crawled out of bed stiff and tired at 10am. But we continued to make the best of things. Two cups of coffee and a hot shower later, we finally left the house. I took her to one of my favorite places, This Whole House, located in quaint downtown Summerville, SC. The food was delicious and the company divine. I even ran into a couple of friends from my Creative Memories days! The manager was so friendly, and even let me take some pics of her store. (Pssssttt...she's trying to sell her place to spend more time with her hubby.) You should drop in if you're ever nearby.

Lord, help me to cherish these days, for I know they are fleeting. One day my home will be empty, my schedule not so full, and I will wish for these days with teenagers once more. Help me to number my days aright, and give me a heart of wisdom. Amen.

an onion kind of day

2011-02-25T02:07:00.004-05:00

I was taking my daughter Madison to her small group tonight when I began noticing the darkness all around me. We're driving along, and I'm noticing EVERYTHING. Shadow, contrast, headlights from oncoming cars...road signs. Somehow I want to learn how to capture good clear nighttime images with my camera. It's frustrating. I want to take a picture that will "see" as I see. I want it to be crystal clear, with no blurriness. I want to capture the light that shines out from the darkness. Is that too much to ask? *insert pleading tone here*

My mind is constantly working in metaphors. I suppose that's just how God speaks to me the most. He is also trying to get me to "see" as He sees. It's a constant battle, I assure you. But on those rare days that I do perceive as He does, it's like the floodgates of light and understanding, clarity and revelation come rushing into my thirsty heart. I get the supply I need for the day, and even have overflow to share with those around me. I love living life out of the overflow of what He provides! There's nothing quite like it.

Clarity. That's my word for this year. I had no idea when I picked up this digital camera that I would be immersed in a completely different world. I'm learning how to truly see. I'm learning to appreciate the details and celebrate the everyday. I'm learning consistency, and I'm being creatively challenged. Some days are frustrating. My youngest daughter Rebecca has been sick for the past couple of days, and today she ran a high fever. I stayed close to home. I ended up with about 23 pictures of a blooming onion today, and no, I'm not talking about the delicious appetizer at Outback. I'm talking about a real onion that has grown nice green shoots. (Maddie wants to plant it...) I appreciate the color, as it reminds me of Spring. Lord knows we're all ready to see that around here. And other than giving me an appreciation for onion skin, my compositions fell flat on their faces today. My daily pic I chose to edit and post today was from my Charleston trip three days ago. Oh well. Days like this are bound to happen.

That's just how life is I suppose. Some days my life is full of onions and isn't as "composed" as I'd like it to be. Sometimes it can be downright ugly! Some days are breathtaking and beautiful. Others are simply ordinary. But when I step far enough back to get His perspective, I can see the tapestry of grace He's designing all around me. The dark and the light and the contrast. And my heart is at peace once more because I know He holds the plan. All things do work together for good for those who love the Lord.

one little word

2011-02-24T15:46:00.004-05:00

This is my one little word for the year. I began hearing it during my quiet times with the Lord the beginning of January, and it's been engraved on my heart ever since.

~ clearness

~ lucidity

~ perception

~ understanding

~ freedom

I can't think of a better word to focus on for this year.

crisis

2011-02-23T10:00:00.003-05:00

I wonder how many people walk by this fire hydrant every day. And each day it waits, a steady beacon of hope in the middle of a busy city. Ignored for the most part by pedestrians and motorists alike. It's only in the event of an emergency that it is used to it's fullest intent, and at that point everyone is glad this little hydrant is ready and available for service.

I was having a discussion recently with a young friend of mine. She was having to make some tough choices, and over and over again I kept hearing in my heart, "She's stronger than she thinks she is." I felt the touch of God on this thought, so I shared it with her. Most times we don't know what is truly residing in our hearts until a crisis hits. We don't know the provision God has already placed there until it's time to make a withdrawal.

1 Corinthians 10:13 promises:

"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure."

He will show you a way out. When you're facing a brick wall, there's a ladder somewhere. When situations seem completely out of control, and your emotions are on fire - He's the cool water to your soul. Our job is to look for him in the midst of the chaos.

discovery

2011-02-09T11:48:00.002-05:00

I must admit, this 365 project has been challenging. I'm still trying to learn all about ISO, depth of field, and aperture. I'm barely off of manual mode on my Nikon D70. I've immersed myself in the world of Photoshop (textures anyone???). And slowly but surely I'm awaking the creative muse within me. She can be quite demanding some days.

I miss Picture Winter. Some of the assignments were crazy-hard, but at the end of the day it was quite satisfying knowing I had not only completed the challenge, but received some great feedback from the online community as well. If you're looking for a place to give your creativity a boost, head on over to their main website at www.bigpictureclasses.com. I'm planning on doing their Picture Spring class in April with my friend Beth. I can't wait!!!

If you'd like to see my pics, I have them uploaded to Flickr. You can find them HERE.

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

lenses

2011-01-21T14:15:00.004-05:00

During my quiet time this morning, I was asking the Lord to help me find my center...find my balance again. My time with Him has been hit-and-miss since the holidays and I just felt off-kilter. I was judging myself for not spending enough time with Him. It's amazing how quickly He answers our prayers sometimes.

"Child, keep the eyes of of your heart turned toward heaven. Look for Me - My signature - on all who are around you. Look for Me in laughter - look for Me in darkness and thunder and rain. I am surrounding you, enveloping you. Ask Me for the eyes to see. This is not a hard thing for Me to do for you. It is My desire that you see as I see so you can judge righteously. Focus your spiritual eyes on the love I hold within My heart. Every decision you make must be made through the filter of love, for only through the lens of love can you truly judge righteously."

Oh, goodness...I needed that reminder. He impressed upon my heart that I won't be able to see myself correctly unless I'm looking through the lens of love. It reminded me of the story of the prodigal son. He had completely destroyed his life. He broke just about every commandment that could possibly be broken. And when he finally hit bottom, his heart reached out for his home, and the father he'd left behind. He rehearsed over and over again on that long road back home the words of repentance he'd say to his father. But while he was still just a speck on the horizon, the father saw him. Calling behind him for his servants to bring a robe, ring, and sandals, the father RAN to meet his son. He ordered them to prepare a feast!

Love runs. Love covers. Love CELEBRATES!

I'm sure it blew his mind how much love the father was lavishing on him. It just didn't make sense. But the father saw him through eyes of love. The father saw him as being resurrected from the dead. And this is how God sees us as well.

We all wear glasses. Some are placed there during childhood, and some are placed there by religion. Some are there due to hurt and trauma. But none of them will enable us to see ourselves or others clearly unless we're looking through the lens of love. God has given us everything pertaining to life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3), and the clarity to see as He sees is a vital part of what He's provided for his kids.

Put on love. Place it on the eyes of your heart so you can see as He sees. Begin to see yourself through the Eyes of Love.

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Colossians 3:12-14

a guilty conscience

2011-01-13T23:27:00.003-05:00

"Under the old system, the blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a young cow could cleanse people's bodies from ceremonial impurity. Just think how much more the blood of Christ will purify our consciences from sinful deeds so that we can worship the living God. For by the power of the eternal Spirit, Christ offered himself to God as a perfect sacrifice for our sins."

Hebrews 9:13-14 NLT

Ever have your conscience "prick" you? That niggling in the back of your mind that those words that left your mouth might not have been the right thing to say? Perhaps you indulged in a bit of gossip thinly veiled as a prayer request. Maybe passed judgment on a stranger. Spoke ill of your spouse. Criticized a loved one. Like the song we used to sing as children...

"Ashes, ashes, we ALL FALL down!"

We all fall down. We all make bad choices from time to time. We miss the mark. (God calls it sin.) And we are taught from the time we are children to listen to our "conscience", for it will keep us out of trouble. Right? Well, sometimes.

Because of the Fall, my default setting for my conscience was "guilty". But because I am a new creature in Christ and follow Him, my default setting is now set to "holy". Now I can have a face-to-face relationship with the Father. Because of Christ's perfect sacrifice, my sin doesn't separate me from Him any longer. The price for my freedom has been completely paid. I am wholly and dearly loved by the Father, and I am free to become the dream that He has had on His heart since the foundation of this world! But my mind needs to be renewed to the truth of these things.

I've come to understand that my conscience can be defective. If it sides with the truth found in God's word, then, yes - it's a good thing to listen to. But if it decides to side with lies concerning my identity in Christ or anything contrary to scripture, then no. And I refuse to give it the time of day. 1 John 4:1 says:

"Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world."

Jesus came to cleanse us and deliver us from a guilty conscience - a heart that is totally focused on sin. It's okay to question the messages we are hearing in our hearts. We are commanded to guard our hearts diligently (Proverbs 4:23). Our life flows from this very place, and it must be protected at all cost. It is the blood of Jesus that purifies my conscience. Why? So I can worship Him in spirit and in truth. So I can worship the living God. If I hear a voice that dissuades me from that one magnificent purpose, chances are I'm listening to the wrong voice. I heard a pastor say one time,

"I can't afford to have a single thought in my head that God doesn't have in His." ~Bill Johnson

Now THAT is truth you can hang your heart on.

Have a guilty conscience? Take it to the Lord. He alone can see clearly to cleanse you and purify you and set you back on your feet once more. Ask Him for His perspective. He delights to see His kids free! Don't let it keep you from receiving His free gift of grace in your time of need.

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us

in our time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16

signs of life

2011-01-12T13:28:00.003-05:00

Creativity. Music. Color. Change.

All these things bring my heart life, even in the midst of winter's shadow.

owl you need is love...

2011-01-11T19:25:00.002-05:00

In my quest to be more pragmatic over the next 21 days of fasting, I've decided to pull out my sewing machine again. I even pulled out an old knitting project last night! I love creating things. Unfortunately, completing a project is harder for me than starting one. I'd like that to change this year.

My photo assignment for Day 11:

"Hearts are a universal symbol of love and caring and I never tire of discovering them and snapping away. Today, shoot a photo that warms your heart. It can be of an actual heart, or not. That is up to you! Today it's all about feeling it in your heart, however you want to capture it!"

I have to smile every time I see an owl. Paige (the wonderful girl I mentor), absolutely adores owls. Barn owls to be specific. But she swoons over most any owl. And since my heart loves her so much, I've come to love them too. We bought this fabric last year around her birthday, with the promise I'd make her something warm and cozy to wrap up in at night, or whenever she needs love surrounding her. I can't wait to give it to her.

"Love covers..." 1 Peter 4:8

balance

2011-01-10T19:30:00.002-05:00

I found it ironic that today's assignment for Picture Winter was to find something that exemplified balance. Balance is something that I have fought to achieve for so many years. Actually, I believe most people struggle with this issue. We have a multitude of things pulling for our attention on a daily basis...a lot of really good things. That's what makes our daily decisions so difficult sometimes. It's not a choice between good and bad, but a choice between good and best. What's the best use of my time? What are the best relationships to nurture? If my goal as a Christian is to love God and love people, how do I do that practically? What does that look like? Who comes first?

As a believer, I know that God must come first. He tells me that if I seek Him, I will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). And oh, how I need to find Him! He's the only one that can give me clear direction for my life. But many days it's a struggle just to get to that place. If we only had a pause button to push when the world starts spinning out of control!

Every generation has faced challenges in their devotion to God, and ours is no exception. We are virtually connected to our world in a multitude of ways. Television, cell phones, texting, blogging, email, Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, etc., claim hour upon hour of our time. Time stealers. None of these things are inherently bad, and I'd be the first one to say I've enjoyed many of them. But after awhile, they numb you to hearing God's voice. Sometimes it's good to just take a break and disengage from technology. To reset your internal clock. To just breathe and "be" a human be-ing instead of a human do-ing. To invest more time in people instead of things, to turn our heart towards God and just listen. He has amazing things to speak to our hearts if we'd just be still, and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10).

One of the best ways I've found to bring balance into my life is to enter into a time of fasting. My church is joining others all across the world in a 21 day fast. For the next 21 days we are choosing to set aside those things that have drawn our hearts away from God and reconnect to each other. We're putting first things first. We're believing for miracles. We're praying audacious prayers. Some of us are fasting various types of food, and some are fasting technology. Many of us are combining the two. We're not fasting to get God's attention...we're fasting to get the world's grip off our hearts. It's not a time of mourning over what we're giving up, but a hopeful expectation of hearing God's voice, and getting His direction for the year. It's a time to increase our faith. Faith comes from hearing the rhema (revealed) word of God..not from having heard (Romans 10:17). It is an active listening for His voice. I'm looking forward to this time of renewal, and can't wait to see what God says to my heart in the coming days.

Here's to a New Year that is balanced and full of blessings in every way!

knit together

2011-01-08T17:03:00.003-05:00

"I want them to be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love. I want them to have complete confidence that they understand God's mysterious plan, which is Christ himself." Colossians 2:2 NLT

I've been rejoicing in my heart lately over all the talk from various ministries concerning the unity and building up of the Body of Christ. It seems everywhere I turn people are beginning to really focus on what it means to nurture, protect, and encourage community and well-being in the Body. What a breath of fresh air! And what will strengthen us? The scripture above tells us we'll be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love. It all goes back to the most important command: Love God, love ourselves, love others (Matthew 22:37-39). We must choose to celebrate the Christ in each other, and cultivate a culture of honor and respect. If we say we love God, and yet hate our brothers and sisters, is the truth really in us? Now flip it around. If we love each other well, and support, encourage and embrace each other...how can God not show up in our midst? I heard a pastor say yesterday,

"If you need a visit from Jesus, start celebrating the people around you, and start glorifying God in them." Eric Johnson

It's simply profound isn't it? Love God. Love yourself. Love people. Be knit together!

rest

2011-01-07T14:51:00.002-05:00

"Perhaps I will stay with you awhile, or even spend the winter, so that you can help me on my journey, wherever I go." 1 Corinthians 16:6

***

One of the things I love about winter is the peacefulness of it. My body automatically wants to slow down...snuggle in...stay warm. I crave a steamy mug of hot apple cider, a warm blanket, and a good, long book.

As I went outside today to take pictures, I went with the assignment to find "quiet beauty and rest". I found these Black-eyed Susan seed pods just off my back porch. To look at them you'd never know that just a few months ago they were vibrant yellow flowers. But there's a dignity in their form now, and the promise of new growth in the Spring.

They're at rest.

It gives me hope that during the winter seasons of my own life there's more going on than what appears on the surface. That even when things seem dead and lifeless, there is still hope. It is good to go through these resting seasons. New adventures are just around the corner!

cracked pots

2011-01-06T19:26:00.000-05:00

I have this planter next to my kitchen sink. It recently developed a crack in the side, so each time I water the plant, it just pours right out. It's a great reminder of my own imperfections and "cracks". If I don't ensure that the soil stays moist in the pot, the plant will dry out and die. If I don't take the time to nurture my heart, my dreams will die. Life pulls on us, and even breaks us at times. We leak. Good thing God's mercy is new every morning! And when I am still before Him, not only does He fill me with everything I need to face the demands of the day, but He often repairs the cracks all together.

And sometimes, He uses the cracks for His own glory. Sometimes He creates them Himself so what's inside will refresh the needs of others.

"Then God made a crack in the hollow rock in Lehi and water came out of it; and after drinking, (Samson's) spirit came back to him and he was strong again..." Judges 15:19

Be a blessing today...

mirror, mirror

2011-01-05T21:37:00.003-05:00

Women have a love-hate relationship with their mirrors. At least this one does. Nevertheless, most of us would readily admit to checking ourselves before walking out the door.

Today I was to find an everyday object to celebrate...something that I use daily. I was going to attempt taking a good picture of my journal, pen and bible, but that seemed too obvious. And I never could get the right angle to save my life. But as I was getting dressed this morning the mirror quickly drew my attention. How often had I used it to do my makeup, check my hair, and pluck those unruly eyebrows? How many times had I frowned at the newest wrinkle? Made stupid faces that would make my kids howl with laughter? Made sure my double chin wasn't sprouting a triplet? *sigh*

Thank God who I am on the outside is not who I am on the inside. For God has called me "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14). What's another wrinkle when my Creator has called me His special treasure?

I think I'll go practice more silly faces. Somewhere I heard that laughter does good like medicine. ;0)

rain, rain, go away...

2011-01-04T21:11:00.002-05:00

It's been a very cold and rainy week. My assignment for Day 4 was to go and find some sunshine, or some representation of something that even remotely reminded me of warmer days. I can't remember a colder winter in the South than what we've had this year. We've had snow twice here in Charleston in 2010. Ridiculous, I tell you! Fortunately for me I had the foresight to purchase a new wool coat. Bought it on a whim when it was still 80 degrees outside. I'm so grateful I listened to my gut this time!

And if the sun is not shining where you are...well, get a little creative. ;0)

Here's hoping your week is sunny and bright!

promise & possibility

2011-01-03T20:10:00.060-05:00

Today's assignment from Picture Winter...

"Be on the lookout today for something that speaks of promise or possibility - something hopeful, touching, soul stirring. Something that reminds you that anything is possible and we have everything to hope for."

Everything to hope for...

I couldn't think of a better subject matter than my brushes. I've painted since I was a child. It truly is my creative first-love. With my brushes I can create anything my heart can conjure. I'm limited only by my imagination (and my pocketbook!), and I can choose whatever colors I may fancy at the moment to create mood, drama, or a sense of order. Perhaps chaos. Truly, the possibilities are endless.

There's a sense of complete awe and wonder for me as I look upon a pure white canvas. And a part of me in that moment knows a little of what God must have felt before His very first creation. He was about to place a little bit of His own heart upon the canvas of our world. And perhaps He held His breath for a moment too.

winter gloom

2011-01-02T17:34:00.002-05:00

I woke up not feeling well again today. But I showered and dressed and went to church anyway. It's such a privilege to serve on the prayer wall and take others to the throne of God in intercession. But I realized I needed prayer first, so I sought out a good friend and received the grace I needed to finish out the morning. (How many times do we just try to "muscle through" our day without asking for much-needed prayer???) I just felt like I was moving in slow-mo, and desperately wanted to take a looooonnnnngggg winters nap. My jammies were calling my name.

I tried taking pics this morning, but it was a bust. I hadn't even had my first cup of tea, so my mind was still fuzzy. I decided I'd try again later.

I slept for three hours this afternoon. And I do feel better! I heard a pastor say once that the most spiritual thing you could do sometimes is just take a nap. I heartily agree!

I was able to take more pics this afternoon. And this was the one I chose for the 365 Project. It makes me want to break out in poetic song. How about a little winter haiku? :0)

Coffee and tea on

a winter day; tea for you,

the other for me

Charles de Lint

happy NEW year!

2011-01-01T22:50:00.005-05:00

Bacon, blueberries and my best friend
Rushing to dress, blow my nose (again)
Hugs, more hugs,...just one more hug from Nathan

Drive

Welcome!
Hugs, smiles, scintillating smells
Feasting
Kids frolicking, chicken dancing, bells ringing
Talking (last night drinking, college-picking, marriages pending...)
Goodbyes
Hugs

Drive
...and drive
...and drive some more

FATZ Cafe!
Rest
Laugh

Drive

Home!
Unpack

Happy New Year Everyone!

new beginnings

2011-01-01T00:14:00.004-05:00

I love a fresh start. A clean sheet of paper. A new year.

This year has been wonderful on many fronts, and I have MUCH to be thankful for. And this Christmas season has brought its many blessings, and expensive gifts. I can't remember a Christmas where I've been blessed so much materially.

two pairs of Sanita clogs that i adore
one fabulous Nook
a Vera wallet to match my handbag (thanks kids!!!)
and a Nikon D70!

The Nikon is actually a wonderful hand-me-down from my friend Beth. I'm sitting at her Mac as I type this post, in Belton, SC. With 56 minutes left in 2010, I'm beginning to feel a bit nostaligic. And I'm fighting a post-Christmas cold, so I'm feeling a bit loopy - hence all the rabbit-trailing. *grin*

The camera is pretty intimidating. Seriously. And it takes a lot to intimidate me technologically. But I'm looking forward to the challenge of learning all the cool features. Beth has talked me into joining her for Project 365 that is sponsored by www.shuttersisters.com. Every day, for the next 365 days, I will attempt to post a picture and learn all the ins and outs of this DSLR. I'm hoping i'll be able to spark another creative side of me in the process.

The pic above is my first attempt at using this fabulous camera.

Here's to a very blessed, and VERY creative New Year.

light

2010-08-29T21:37:00.002-04:00

"For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord.

So live as people of light!"

Ephesians 5:8

eat, pray, love God

2010-08-27T11:01:00.001-04:00

"Do not look at the world through your head; look at it through your heart." Ketut

Recently, Mom and I went to see the movie, “Eat, Pray, Love” with Julia Roberts. After a messy divorce (and an even messier rebound relationship), the main character (Liz) decides to travel the world for a year so she can reconnect with her heart, find out who she was created to be, and what she's to do with her life. She went to Italy, India, and Bali. And each place she traveled to she had to learn the language, the customs, and the culture of the people. It was hard for her to adjust, and she didn't know anyone when she arrived at each of her destinations. But she was desperate for change. Desperate for something to make her feel alive again.

Many of us came to the Lord desperate for change. At the end of our ropes, or broken, or confused, angry and hurt – we come. And just like Liz, we find ourselves in a whole new world. We don't know the language, we don't know the customs, and we're not quite sure where we fit into this new life we've discovered, or even what we've been called to do.

In the movie, there was a scene where Liz was trying to order coffee at an Italian Bistro. Her Italian came out of a book, and she was hesitantly trying to order without much success. The store was slammed with people, and she couldn't be heard over the shouts of the other patrons. Another young woman saw her predicament and immediately offered to help. Asking Liz what she'd like, Delia shouted out their orders in commanding, perfect, Italian. Their friendship was deliciously sealed while noshing on Napoleons and drinking coffee.

When we become believers, God gives us tools to live in our new “country”. He's given us His Holy Spirit as our guide, and He's given us His Word as our map. He's given us the Body of Christ to equip and encourage and build ourselves up until we reach maturity together (Ephesians 4:11-15). He has not left us without resources!

Sometimes we fall back into the same patterns we were in before we came to Christ. And we think because we've changed “cities” - an earthly city for a heavenly one – that things will automatically be different. Liz found that even though she was in a completely different country, her old demons still followed her. She still carried brokenness within her. But certain people came across her path at just the right time to help her look within herself for the healing and peace she so desperately needed. We fail to realize that change comes from the inside out. If you are a child of God, your heart has been completely renewed (1 Corinthians 5:17-19)! It's our minds that need revelation and understanding (Romans 12:2). And like Liz, sometimes to find the beat of our own hearts we have to acquire a completely new perspective.

"I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance." Ephesians 1:16-18

a little more

2010-08-20T18:34:00.001-04:00

This song has been with me all day...thought I'd pass it on to you. <3

irresistible worship

2010-08-19T23:49:00.011-04:00

Yesterday I had a friend ask me what I thought a corporate worship experience should look like. I made a comment that God believed that worship should be all about Him. We discussed it further, but I still came home pondering that question later.

What exactly does bless God's heart? What does He find so irresistible that He can't help but show up?

This morning I ran across this section of scripture that describes an amazing encounter with the Presence of God:

"It came even to pass, as the trumpeters and singers were as one, to make one sound to be heard in praising and thanking the Lord; and when they lifted up their voice with the trumpets and cymbals and instruments of musick, and praised the Lord, saying, 'For He is good, and His mercy endureth for ever': that then the house was filled with a cloud, even the house of the Lord, so that the priests could not stand to minister by reason of the cloud: for the glory of the Lord had filled the house of God." 2 Chronicles 5:13 KJV

Now this is an excellent picture of a rockin' worship service that occurred when Solomon was dedicating the new temple. Here are the things that really got my attention:

The singers and musicians were worshiping the Lord "as one". They were in UNITY.
They were doing two things: PRAISING and THANKING the Lord.
What were they proclaiming? God's GOODNESS and His MERCY.
As a result, the house was filled with His glory, and...
The religious establishment (the priests) fell down!

Even though this is an Old Testament picture of a worshipful experience, I still believe it has merit on this side of the Cross. God has called us to worship Him in unity (let them be one as we are One...John 17:22-23). We're called to praise and thank Him for what He's done and is now doing in our lives. We know it is the GOODNESS of God that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4), and that His mercy endures forever (Psalm 107:1 NKJV). YES!!!

So, a worship experience that blesses God's heart has these elements: unity, praise, thanksgiving, and acknowledgement of His goodness and mercy. We need to get a revelation of the goodness and mercy of our God before the glory of the Lord call fill our "house" - our heart wherein He dwells. And when the glory of the Lord shows up, the religious spirit falls down! Woo-Hoo!

it's all about YOU

2010-04-04T15:35:00.017-04:00

if i've heard it once i've heard it a thousand times -

"it's NOT all about you."

most of the time you hear this from preachers behind a pulpit/podium/podcast as they try to stir their congregation to acts of service. i've also said it as a parent when one of my kids get prideful or out of line. but this morning i had this amazing epiphany. sometimes, it is about you. and about me.

the bible says that it was for the JOY set before Him that Jesus endured the cross:

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

for one breathtaking moment in history, it was ALL about you.

you were the joy set before Him. you were the reason He willingly laid down everything He was, so you could become an heir of everything He has. what a debt we owe to Him! how could we possibly fathom the love that sent Him to the cross in our place?

His death was only the beginning...

the grave had no choice but to be a witness to the greatest coup that hell had ever experienced: the Resurrection. and we celebrate Easter because Jesus conquered death, hell, and the grave. if Jesus had remained in the grave, then my hope is futile. as a Believer, everything i put my trust in would be a sham. and if that were the case i certainly wouldn't be wasting my time writing about such dribble. but over 500 witnesses testify to the fact that the tomb could not hold the sinless lamb of God.

and THAT's something to celebrate!

i love how the message bible puts this same scripture into a passionate plea. as you read the words below let them sink deep down into your spirit. because He lives, we have the same resurrection power residing on the inside of us as Believers. don't lose sight of where you are going and what He is calling you to do. go over the triumph of Easter again and again until your heart is set on fire by the very joy that filled His soul at calvary.

"Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!" Hebrews 12:1-3 MSG

may this Easter find you more in love with the Savior than you ever believed possible, and may you rest secure in the fact that He has risen...

He has risen indeed!

pssstttt...

2010-04-03T18:52:00.004-04:00

new post up at:

www.whispersinmyear.com

love you guys...have an amazing Easter!

simplicity

2010-04-01T11:47:00.011-04:00

after stuffing myself on sesame chicken one night from our favorite neighborhood chinese restaurant, i cracked opened my fortune cookie. this is what it said:

"you simplify your life in many ways and find great rewards."

i don't usually hold on to fortune cookie messages, but i've held onto this one. you see, God's been speaking to me for months about simplicity. and even though this message came out of a fortune cookie, i know the message is wisdom. truly, God uses the foolish things of the world to confound the wise.

but the more i think about it, the more i realize it takes a lot of work to get to a place of simplicity. some days it seems terribly elusive, and just out of my grasp.

there's one thing that i try to pursue above all others - and that's loving Jesus with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. being one with Him in heart, mind and spirit...i crave it above all other things. and the "things" of this world frustrate me even more because this is my heart's greatest desire.

i crave the simplicity of knowing Him, and who i am in Him. i know i have to start here, because He promised that if i seek first "His kingdom and His righteousness, all these things will be given to (me) as well" (Matthew 6:33).

one morning i was spinning my wheels - i was so overwhelmed with life in general. and i heard the Lord's still, small voice say, "Come to Me." and what He spoke to my heart filled me with hope and life once more.

i forget sometimes to run to Him in the midst of the chaos.

when Jesus was sleeping in a boat during a violent storm, it wasn't because He was ignoring the situation or waiting to see what His disciples were going to do about the problem. He was living within His reality of peace. His world is peace. (the Word calls Him the "Prince of peace".) so for me to find peace, and the simplicity i so desperately crave, i have to hide myself in Him. it may take work getting there, but the rewards are well worth the effort.

i have discovered this one overwhelming truth: i cannot have simplicity in the world around me, until it is manifested in the world within me.

"For our boast is this, the testimony of our conscience, that we behaved in the world with simplicity and godly sincerity, not by earthly wisdom, but by the grace of God, and supremely so toward you." 2 Corinthians 1:12 NLT

carry

2010-03-22T14:43:00.002-04:00

"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." ~ Galatians 6:2

dreaming...

2010-03-18T16:20:00.000-04:00

if you had unlimited resources at your disposal, what would you do with them? buy a yacht? hire a maid? go on a trip around the world?

we've all heard the question before.

but what if...what if...

what if we dared to dream?

i had an unusual dream one night that the Lord brought back to my mind yesterday. it was a really odd dream actually. i was in a multi-storied building in the middle of a city that was exclusively made just for teens. the bottom floor had a huge dance floor and a stage for live bands. somewhere on another floor there was a really amazing food court. and the upper floor contained different rooms for creative expression. i remember there was an art studio, and a basketball court, and other rooms used for instruction in various things. everywhere you looked there were teens, and there were adult mentors available just to hang out and talk with. it was an extraordinary facility, but not because of all the physical things it had to offer. no, the extraordinary part was that i KNEW that this was a place that was equipped to pull the treasure out of our youth. this was a place where they could safely explore who God had created them to be. the whole goal of the place was to create an environment for potential - to encourage not only their spiritual well-being, but also to recognize and encourage unique giftings in each young person.

it was a place for dreams.

in my dream i remember walking and jumping from one place to another...floating and jumping and watching. i felt lighter than air, because the atmosphere was so charged with hope.

how i would love to see this particular dream become reality...

habits

2010-03-16T15:33:00.004-04:00

so last night after i said prayers with becca she asked me what my worst habit was. i told her i didn't really know (but of course i had a few things in mind), and then asked her what SHE thought my worst habit was. (now, we all know that it's dangerous to ask a child a question like this, because they don't have the same "filters" adults do and will tell you EXACTLY what they think...but i couldn't resist.)

"well, you don't do maddie's hair anymore," she said.

"hmmm...," i replied. "so what do you think is my best habit?" i asked.

"you LOVE your quiet time mom. you really, really love your quiet time, and talking to God," she said.

that absolutely made my week. it's good to know that even though i don't take time to do hair anymore (what planet was she on last week when i was braiding her AND her sister's hair btw???), that at least my other priorities are in line! haha...

when i asked her what she thought her worst habit was she said...

"saying 'moooo' all the time."

alrighty then! i hadn't even noticed she did this, but just to demonstrate, she began to make the most excellent cow sounds imaginable. yep, now it's all coming back to me...

her best habit in her mind is her love of crafts. she loves to paint, draw, color, sculpt...you name it she loves it. all three of my kids have artistic ability, but becca is the only one who really loves it as much as i do. so cool to see her gifts develop right under our noses.

family

2010-03-15T22:35:00.006-04:00

"other things may change us, but we start and end with family." ~ anthony brandt

a delightful diversion indeed...

2010-03-14T22:55:00.000-04:00

okay, just for the record, i have the most amazing friends. kim and jill have introduced me to the world of all things jane austen, and i must admit that i'm completely smitten. about once every other month we get together with other homeschool moms and watch our favorite movies made from the books, with an occasional jaunt into other period movies.

fun stuff!

well, tonight was a bit of a surprise. because we got to watch two movies instead of the usual one. we watched persuasion, realized it wasn't dark enough outside to even think about going home, and then jill pulled pride and prejudice out of her purse.

persuasion was...*sigh* wonderful as always.

pride & prejudice...well, i think i lost a few brain cells on that one. funny in some parts, completely ludicrous in others. the kissing scene after he was run over by kitty was probably the most awkwardly funny part.

all in all it was a great night with too much food and much-needed laughter. most of us are so ready for spring break we can reach out and just touch it. jenny, as always is a fabulous hostess and we all love the fact she has a tv the size of her wall upstairs.

only one sad note - quinn called me to say austin's now running a 102 degree fever with a sore throat. guess we'll be paying a visit to the doctor in the morning.

hide me

2010-03-13T12:44:00.013-05:00

"The Lord is near to all who call on Him,

to all who call on Him in truth." Psalm 145:18

sometimes i believe i can fool God. sometimes i think that He doesn't really know what i'm struggling with, and i try to put a happier spin on the situations i find myself in so i "look" better in His eyes. or i think that maybe i can somehow figure things out on my own.

crazy.

i forget that He knows EVERYTHING. yep, everything. and the only thing He really requires of me is that i come to Him in truth. that means i am completely transparent and honest with whatever i'm struggling with - great or small. it means that i stop pretending i have all the answers and admit that He's the only one who can see from an eternal perspective.

"All my longings lie open before You, O Lord;

my sighing is not hidden from You." Psalm 38:9

since the incident in the Garden, we have the tendency to default to the position of hiding. just like adam and eve, we hide in our hearts from the One who's constantly pursuing us for intimacy. hiding, in any form it takes, keeps us from the love of God.

however, He does condone one particular kind of hiding...

hiding in Him.

"Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God's right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:1-3 NLT

i love this word - my real life is hidden in Him. and as long as i come to Him in a spirit of truth, transparency, and humility, then i can share in His abundant life as well.

and that's something to shout about!

"I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)." John 10:10b AMP

picnik

2010-03-06T22:12:00.004-05:00

so my friend rachel is creating all kinds of cool photo projects right now. and one of the photo editing programs she uses is called picnik. the website says that:

Picnik makes your photos fabulous with easy to use yet powerful editing tools. Tweak to your heart’s content, then get creative with oodles of effects, fonts, shapes, and frames.

the pic of me and the girls above was created using this program. there's basic editing features for you to use for free, and more advanced features for a small fee. i signed up to try it out for a month for less than $5.00, and they took Paypal (which is always a real plus with me!). and my favorite feature of the program so far?

wrinkle remover! haha...

cut

2010-03-03T09:39:00.003-05:00

this is the second year in a row our venus flytrap has put out a flower stalk. only this time, it's decided to put out not one, but THREE flower stalks. last year we cut off the stalk after it had bloomed, because when we did some research we found that making flowers actually will kill the flytrap. fortunately though, our little plant lived to see another summer. i keep trying to talk my son into letting it go dormant over the winter, but he just can't seem to do it. we've had it for several years now - a record for us.

so we're presented with a dilemma now - to cut or not to cut? with three flower stalks growing, i'm sure our plant will be too exhausted to survive. and it's not like the seeds it may produce will get planted. they're incredibly small to begin with.

this poor plant is putting all it's effort into reproducing.

it kinda reminds me of myself at times.

there have been seasons in my life when i have poured all my energies into those things that would eventually destroy something precious to me. for years i've gone round and round that merry-go-round. and invariably i would hit a brick wall. to cut or not to cut? "but i feel so productive in this area!", i'd say. "surely this is God's will for my life!", i'd exclaim...not realizing that what i was doing was sucking the life out of me, my marriage and my family. but i'd go to God, presenting my "fruit" to Him in prayer. and He would begin...

cutting.

but over time i've noticed that those areas He has brought pruning into my life have become more fruitful. as painful as the cutting was, now i had something even more precious in it's place:

peace.

and there's never been anything in my life He's asked me to lay down that i have not reaped back in greater measure.

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." john 15:1-2

still

2010-03-01T11:00:00.009-05:00

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

i am currently reading a book by bill johnson called "Dreaming with God". in the very first chapter, he addresses the difference between being a "servant" and being a "friend" of God. servants are obedient because they are required to be, while friends are obedient because they want to please their Lord in every way. he quoted pastor mike bickle as saying:

"...there are lovers and there are workers. And lovers get more work done than do workers!"

johnson continues to say that, "A passionate lover will always outperform a good servant in pleasing Him."

amen!

so today i am praying for a spirit that can be still and know He is God. i refuse to be martha today, and i choose to embrace the extravagant example of love that mary presents. it is through sitting still in His presence and being filled with His Spirit that we become a force in this world to be reckoned with.

"Left alone!" What different emotions these words bring to mind for each of us! To some they mean loneliness and grief, but to others they may mean rest and quiet. To be left alone without God would be too horrible for words, while being left alone with Him is a taste of heaven! And if His followers spent more time alone with Him, we would have spiritual giants again. ~ from Streams in the Desert devotional

remember that aaron's staff was left alone in the presence of God - and it bore fruit. how much more will our lives bear fruit for His kingdom as we continue to sit at His feet!

just keep swimming...

2010-02-28T14:30:00.005-05:00

our pastor was speaking this morning on how everyone falls down...the important thing being that we continue to get back up.

he also said that we are tested during the times that we receive praise from men, and also during the times people are throwing rocks at our heads. the Lord revealed to him that if he succumbed to the praises of men on his way up in the world, he would be sucked into criticism from those very same people on his way back down. i'm paraphrasing of course, but the concept is the same. the key is not to be moved by either praise or criticism.

(please let me know if you've figured out how to effectively do this...)

i think we should kick all the pedestals down and realize that we all struggle with the same issues. different flavors maybe, but the same temptations. and we can either let them overcome us, or allow God to turn them into places of elevation into His presence.

we've got to get up and keep going. we were created for greatness...created to bring Him glory.

"just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...what do we do? we swim!" ~ dory, "finding nemo"

falling down

2010-02-27T21:52:00.005-05:00

when i came downstairs this morning i noticed that one of the tulips in the vase in the kitchen was completely bent over, it's flower touching the table. the water level had dropped overnight, and this one tulip was completely out of the water so it was droopy. i immediately rushed to the sink to refill the vase and returned the flowers back to the table. i carefully picked the poor flower up and gently tucked it in with all its other companions for support.

that's when it hit me.

there's this scripture in the bible that says, "If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!...Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." ecclesiastes 4:10,12

i realized that this is how the body of Christ should be functioning. when one falls down, we're to pick them back up, make sure they're connected to the "water" of the Word, and embrace them until they're strong enough to stand up again. and that's what my beautiful tulip began to do...

stand tall.

productive

2010-02-25T20:10:00.002-05:00

so after taking the kids to co-op classes today i went home, piddled around on the computer for a bit, then set my timer for one hour.

yep, i cleaned the bottom floor of the house. it was a righteous pit if i do say so...

then, i PAINTED! i've been wanting to paint for the past three weeks, but i've allowed other things to interrupt my creative flow. stupid life - always getting in the way.

becca says it looks like an angel. maddie says it looks like a crayfish. it's supposed to be a dove. hahah...truly beauty is in the eye of the beholder. oh well, i enjoyed doing it. not sure if i'm done yet, but just in case i went ahead and signed it.

it took me four tries!

my friend beth said i was channeling my inner-child today when i told her i used my fingers to paint. and yet, i keep buying paintbrushes for some reason. i guess i've always been told to be a "real" artist you need to use a brush.

whatever.

owls and loveys

2010-02-25T00:34:00.001-05:00

i'm mentoring a fabulous young woman right now. she's being raised by her dad, and for reasons unknown to me, her mom has decided not to be a regular part of her life. and that makes me so sad, but...

God has chosen me to love her.

so friday we'll be celebrating her birthday. and i've been wracking my brain for a great present for her for a couple of weeks now. she loves owls - yes, OWLS, and so i hopped online to see what kind of owl-ly fabric i could find. i found some at etsy.com that i thought she'd love...paid more than i wanted, but she's worth it. ;) after giving her the choice of pillows or a quilt, she decided she wanted me to make her a quilt. which is a good thing because...

i want her to have a grown-up lovey.

i want her to feel loved when she wraps it around herself when she's cold or lonely or afraid and life doesn't make sense. i want her to remember each time she sees it that God has tucked her into my heart. and as i put it all together the next couple of weeks i'm gonna pray over it too.

we went to the fabric store today to find coordinating fabric. i think she's just as excited about this quilt as i am. she found the most deliciously soft fabric for the backing. it's white...just like the color of her favorite owl.

whispers

2010-02-25T00:21:00.001-05:00

i have another website that i keep track of my more "spiritual" ramblings...you can check it out here:

www.whispersinmyear.com

hope it blesses you!

randomness

2010-02-25T00:00:00.000-05:00

so, just for the record i hate taking the time to capitalize sentences. completely stops the flow of creativity for me sometimes. besides, this just looks more humble as well...

i'm a child of God (yep - i capitalize for Him and Jesus...oh and the Holy Spirit), a wife of almost 20 years, a mom of three, a carb junkie, a teen lover, a mentor and a friend. i like creative things from writing to painting to singing in my truck. i love the color blue. my eyes are green, even though my parents eyes were blue. i'm an optimist. i love people...

i love God.

i love getting "in the ditch" with people who are struggling...especially this incredibly precious next generation coming up under me. they have so much potential - so much LIFE held within them. i'm trying to teach them to use their powers for good instead of evil. ;) there's enough of that in the world already to just ruin everything.

i love quotes. i love wisdom and understanding and finding treasure in dark places. i love the promises of God. i have anxiety sometimes. i can be too hard on myself and others and...God's not done with me yet.

i dream of having a little house down the road from me with an overgrown yard full of wildflowers, a quaint kitchen and lots of windows to let natural light in. you know, so i can paint. a place where i wouldn't have to put anything away - a place to call my own. i think i'd have bright yellow curtains in the windows...perhaps checked blue ones in the kitchen. there'd be mismatched china in the cupboards i could pull out when friends come over. and we'd have tea and cookies. and i'd show off my latest painting and wonder if they really like it or are being nice.

it doesn't matter really. creating makes me feel close to my Creator.

thanks for stopping by...hope you've had a pleasant visit.